Or –

It’s OKAY When THEY Do It!

If you point out the fact that there are more people of color in prison than white people, you are not a racist, because you are simply stating a fact.

If you point out the fact that black kids may kill each other, but they don’t go nuts and shoot up schools, you are a racist despite the fact that you are simply stating a fact.

If you cheat on your wife while she’s sick, then dump her and marry someone richer, you can be the Republican candidate for president.

If you cheat on your wife while she’s sick, admit your fault, try to work things out through counseling and maintain that the issue is a family one not a political one, you can try to run for public office, but you will be excoriated and held up as an example of your entire party’s perfidy.

If you raise questions about the administration’s handling of 9/11 or Katrina after viewing footage of the events and reading an incomplete report, you’re a complete loon who should be wearing a tinfoil dunce cap – not to mention an un-American traitor espousing treason.

If you raise questions about the president’s citizenship despite wide debunking, call him a traitor and a fascist, stand on the world stage as a publicly elected official and agree that he should offer proof of his birth – AFTER said proof has been repeatedly shown, you are a true American patriot who doesn’t listen to the media lies (unless it’s Fox News lies because, you know, they’re the only station in the country who have a court ruling that SAYS they can lie in their “reporting”).

If you routinely cheat on your wife, divorce her and marry the person you cheated with, only to do it again a few years later, you can maintain your credibility and standing with your party and be suggested as the next Republican candidate for president.

If you routinely cheat on your wife, but your wife stands by you and says that it’s a personal issue between the two of you, you will be called into a special hearing convened by a specially appointed prosecutor who demands intimate details of your relationship with a woman who told her mother she was going to seduce you and write a book about it.

If you cheat on your wife, get your parents to pay off your mistress and her husband, hire her son for your campaign offices, and confess it all to your Republican friends in a secret fraternity, you will be supported and lauded by your party and retain your seat.

If you cheat on your wife, abandon your children on Fathers Day, get caught lying to your staff, your constituents and the general public, use state funds to pay for trysts with your mistress and claim that God has told you to stay in office, you can become a Republican hero who is being unfairly scrutinized by the left-wing media.

If you protest a war that was entered into on false pretenses to avenge a wrong that was committed by someone other than the country that we invaded, you are an unpatriotic traitor who hates soldiers and wants to see our country fail.

If you protest taxes that have not risen based on your belief that those taxes WILL be raised at some point in the future, as well as policies that will actually restore the dignity of the American worker, and you openly and stridently state that you want this president to fail, you are a true patriot and hero who dares to stand up to the government-run media – that is actually run by corporate moguls who are stealing you blind in order to enrich the top .05% of the country.

If you believe in an America where every citizen has the potential to improve his life and the lives of his family through hard work, but realize that we have drifted very far from that ideal, you are a communist welfare leech.

If you believe in an America where those who believe in God make lots of money and those who are poor, homeless, sick or jobless did something  wrong and are being punished for it, you are a true American who espouses the American ideal.

If you believe that compassion is weakness, admitting fault is treason and working for a better country and a better world is hating your country, you could be a Republican – but then you wouldn’t be reading this because it doesn’t fit your world view.

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